Gabriella is a dancer with Osnabrück Theater Dance Company. I was really lucky that during my stay in Osnabrück three members of this company were willing to work with me.

Before we met for the shooting, Gabriella and I had a preliminary meeting where we discussed the idea of the “Inner Core Project” and how Gabriella might imagine approaching this. She told me that she would like to dance and find access to her inner core in motion.

During the conversation it became obvious that she was not entirely comfortable with the idea of trying this out. I felt some resistance and maybe even the wish to withdraw from the project. But she still agreed and we made an appointment for a shooting.

The shooting took place at a photo studio that was available for rent. Regrettably the place had not a nice atmosphere and was certainly not the right location for searching for the inner core of one’s personality. It was optically quite cold and did not feel very inviting.

The shooting happened on a drab and dim late autumn day and the natural light in the room was insufficient. I had to use my LED lights that I put on stands. The combination of dim natural light and small LED lights contributed to an unpleasant cold atmosphere in the room.

And then something amazing happened. Gabriella had brought her own music that she started playing during the session. It was slow and moody piano music. I was very surprised to hear that because I had somehow expected to hear loud, intense music with strong percussive rhythm.

Gabriella started moving to the music and within a few minutes she immersed herself completely into this music and dived deeply into herself. It was perceivable that she found herself in a completely different world, her own world, I guess her inner core. Her movements became completely spontaneous, it was obviously that she was not planning them in order to express anything. They just happened and so did the expression on her face.

After the shooting Gabriella told me that she had lost herself completely in her feelings and that those were so strong that for some moments she had the notion that she had tears on her face.

The shooting lasted for an hour and a half and for both, the “model” and the photographer this was a wonderful and very deep experience.

You are wondering about the results? Well, I made a huge mistake. I decided to try out the burst mode of my camera and to follow all of Gabriella’s movements with this technique. So I shot hundreds, even thousands of pictures, sequences of movements on end. And regrettably most of my pictures show that I relied on a technical gimmick rather than immersing myself into the movements and shooting one single picture at a time. Due to the difficult light (and my lack of experience with this kind of shooting conditions) and my reliance on a technical feature most of the pictures felt empty and did in no way reflect the magic of the moment. I still have some pictures that I am sharing on my website and also on Flickr and Instagram.

This project continuously fights with technical difficulties. They are inherent in a completely experimental setup. But of course the photographer is disappointed if his pictures don’t show the beauty of the moment.

However, at least both, Gabriella and I share this beautiful experience as a memory, something that this project is able to provide again and again. I am really grateful for that. Thank you Gabriella, for allowing me to be there.